[It's uncomfortable how quickly Maelle mentioning the look of the fish brings to mind the very same memories she speaks about. They're not his, that wasn't him, and yet he finds himself feeling sheepish over mentioning a dish that resonates with her in the wrong way. Idly, he wonders if those memories could be unpainted, somehow, but he knows it's nothing but a passing fancy, one of those little thoughts he tells himself when he needs to believe in better.
He needs to believe it it now, as well, but with everything inside of him telling him otherwise, he clings steadfast to the belief in worst, all while maintaining his white-knuckled grip on the masks he's holding up in front of himself. Case in point:]
I am a man of much wisdom and many talents.
[There. That sounds like him, right? Self-deprecatingly self-aggrandizing? He keeps his steps light as he ascends the stairs behind Maelle, fingers grazing the polished banister, focus grazing the waxed wood steps until the end. Then, it's back to being the rapt new resident, head canted at a curious angle as he peers into the bedroom, almost as if he's already formulating plans for how to add character and life to all the things left relatively blank.
Really, he just feels ready to lie down. Exist in that space between being awake and slipping into the void. Breathe in the silence and the knowledge that he's more alone than he's been since he first started wanting to exist in total isolation again. Pretend like he's all right with breaking Maelle's heart in these small ways as all she tries to do is hold on to the people who matter to her.
At least the bed doesn't trigger any memories for him; moving fully into the room, he sits down on it like he's lived even more years than he has, trying to cover up the way he almost collapses onto the mattress by pretending to test it out, bouncing a little before nodding in approval.]
It's functioning, all right.
[He can see that she doesn't want to leave, but isn't that what's best in the end? Doesn't she need to know how to live without a Verso in her life? It's not something he can say with any certainty, but that hardly stops him from believing it all the same. That everything would be better for everyone if he weren't around still feels like an absolute truth.]
Yeah, I will. [The liar lies.] And you too, okay? [The brother genuinely offers.] Take... care.
no subject
He needs to believe it it now, as well, but with everything inside of him telling him otherwise, he clings steadfast to the belief in worst, all while maintaining his white-knuckled grip on the masks he's holding up in front of himself. Case in point:]
I am a man of much wisdom and many talents.
[There. That sounds like him, right? Self-deprecatingly self-aggrandizing? He keeps his steps light as he ascends the stairs behind Maelle, fingers grazing the polished banister, focus grazing the waxed wood steps until the end. Then, it's back to being the rapt new resident, head canted at a curious angle as he peers into the bedroom, almost as if he's already formulating plans for how to add character and life to all the things left relatively blank.
Really, he just feels ready to lie down. Exist in that space between being awake and slipping into the void. Breathe in the silence and the knowledge that he's more alone than he's been since he first started wanting to exist in total isolation again. Pretend like he's all right with breaking Maelle's heart in these small ways as all she tries to do is hold on to the people who matter to her.
At least the bed doesn't trigger any memories for him; moving fully into the room, he sits down on it like he's lived even more years than he has, trying to cover up the way he almost collapses onto the mattress by pretending to test it out, bouncing a little before nodding in approval.]
It's functioning, all right.
[He can see that she doesn't want to leave, but isn't that what's best in the end? Doesn't she need to know how to live without a Verso in her life? It's not something he can say with any certainty, but that hardly stops him from believing it all the same. That everything would be better for everyone if he weren't around still feels like an absolute truth.]
Yeah, I will. [The liar lies.] And you too, okay? [The brother genuinely offers.] Take... care.