[Verso has never understood death the way the current Lumierans do; even when he lived there, the Gommage was an unknown entity. People still died, of course, but never en masse in a burst of petals that covered the whole of the city. Never in the definite way threatened by the number on the Monolith.
So, he tries to picture what it might be like. Something oddly beautiful, something uniquely ephemeral. A constant absence rather than an unchanging presence. Ordinary. Familiar. Perhaps peaceful. Predictable almost down to the minute, with too-abundant room for closure. Rationally these things are easy enough to imagine, but he can only feel their resonance from a distance. So:]
I never witnessed a Gommage so it's hard for me to relate to what you're used to but... I do remember what it was like learning what death means out here.
[Albeit when the dead were still fewer and more far between; when he still held hope that saving Aline would restore them to life. All he's known for nearly 70 years is the sight of bodies piling up, quantifying the sacrifices made for his survival. For better or for worse, that's kept him from losing perspective, and were it not for those constant reminders, he might be a different person. Again, for better or for worse.
He lifts himself into a more proper sit, bringing one leg to his chest and wrapping an arm around his shin, slightly turning himself towards Sciel. Like this, he feels a little more present even if he also feels a bit scattered.]
It really put things into a perspective I wasn't expecting. It helped to figure out why it bothered me, you know, beyond the obvious. Took a lot of listening to things I didn't really want to hear before I could get back to doing the talking, though.
Not even out here? [ Lune is the interrogator, so by comparison Sciel's question seems light. Offhand. ...The truth is, she's also very curious about Verso, his past, and his intentions, but there's no reason genuine interest can't exist alongside trying to keep their group safe, right? ] You never saw anyone run out of time?
[ They'd found a few journals suggesting at least some of those who came before had faded to petals rather than being cut down by Nevrons (or accidentally poisoned by Esquie, etc). How many of those groups had Verso come across in his travels? Surely some, right...?
Her demeanor is still very zen, though, and when he pulls himself into a sitting position, she does the same, her eyes still skyward. ]
That's interesting. [ She murmurs, tracing the path of some of the distant evidence of the Fracture far overhead with her eyes. ] What were some of those things you didn't want to hear?
[ Color her curious. As a sort of peace offering -- to indicate she's not trying to scare him off -- Sciel adds: ] I know what you mean, I think. You can get...stuck, sometimes, because it's impossible to move ahead without accepting the way things are. And...accepting the way things are can be brutal.
[ The sound of water nearby, in this moment, makes her feel a little ill. ]
[Some have, he knows, from reading the same journals Sciel had. He envies the writers for how they're able to spend their last moments knowing that their trials will soon be over and they won't have to worry about anything anymore, even if those aren't likely to be thoughts they were actually having.]
And those who do, they're usually the ones who've resigned themselves the their fate before it happens. Always figured it was best to leave them be.
[It feels like adding insult to injury, staying with them, hurting with them in ways that feel insulting, given how they crave for the tomorrows he wishes he didn't have to experience.
The next question Sciel asks veers closer to the kind Verso is reluctant to answer, even if he's already broached the topic of his immortality a few times around the 33s. Hell, thanks to Lune's question, he had damned near introduced himself with the fact that he's tired of living forever. That had been a factual answer to an impersonally asked question, though; Sciel is seeking something a little closer to his heart, a little less maskable by flippant statements of the obvious.
He sighs softly, barely perceptible, and continues waging his eternal war between honesty and obfuscation for a moment longer before deciding that he risks giving himself away as a liar if he gets evasive about it now. So:]
The... truths about being immortal. Where I'd gone wrong. The things that are outside of my control. You know, the stuff that leaves you wallowing in existential angst for way longer than you'd like.
[A pause, then he points to Sciel in a gesture of agreement.]
Stuck's a good word for it. You keep forging ahead but there's always gonna be a part of you that gets mired in everything you're leaving behind. So, what's that for you? If you don't mind me asking.
[ Sciel doesn't say it as if she's surprised that Verso has said something thoughtful -- she doesn't know him well enough one way or the other yet -- but it is a good point. Her own perspective on death and the Gommage is unique, and so assuming that most others might want company during their final moments is-...well, just that: an assumption. It seems just as likely people -- particularly Expeditioners, given their usual nature -- might not want to share the experience with an outsider.
There's an odd pang of sympathy as she regards Verso now. ]
You didn't ask to be this way. [ He knows this, but it might be worth the reminder. ] ...I'm sorry it's been such a burden. But...I hope it's some comfort, knowing you've taken your situation and made the best of it by helping people.
[ Implication: and not killing them, as his commander has been. ]
That's...a bit personal, actually. [ There's no way she's going to get into her tragic backstory right now, no matter what he shares. ] But...well, the gist of it is everyone's story, isn't it? You lose people who're important to you, in our world. Just...some of them hit a bit harder.
[ Husbands, for example. Unborn children. ]
It's like you said, right? All we can do is carry them with us. Move forward... And then, maybe someday, what we're doing out here will mean there's a lot less death to go around.
[There's a comment on the tip of his tongue – that he is quite thoughtful, thank you for noticing – self-deprecating in how it exaggeratedly self-aggrandises, but he's comfortable enough with Sciel that he doesn't feel like putting up a front. Granted, they haven't spent much time together, but even in these short moments it's like she sees him as more of a man than an oddity; like he doesn't need to don quite so many masks around her because she isn't trying to peer between the gaps to validate whatever image she's been painting of him in her mind's eye. And that's... rare. Oddly affirming, too, which is itself rare.
So, he keeps it quiet while she moves on to commiserating with him. For a fleeting moment, it feels nice to be understood. When she shifts to him helping people, though, the masks come back on and his posture droops ever slightly beneath their weight.]
Yeah, it's... what keeps me going.
[Ending the cycle, he could say while still being honest, but it feels dishonest for what he's leaving out. Besides, the little he does say tells the whole truth on its own, going even farther into a past where he struggled to come to terms with following Renoir's command, dipping into the moments of depression when he couldn't bring himself to do anything, holding itself up like the lone buoy keeping him afloat.
Sciel's own secrecy isn't surprising, though, and Verso responds to it with a contemplative hum. Under different circumstances he might have played at feeling denied, but the mood still doesn't feel right for that, so he chooses a different course.]
Mm, maybe someday. It'd be nice to not be the only old man walking around out here.
[Aside from Renoir, but whatever. That's not the point!!!
Speaking of points, Sciel asked for advice and Verso feels compelled to try and offer some, even if he's still not sure he has anything of value to contribute. That little bit of self-consciousness has him crossing his arms over his chest, but in a relaxed sort of way.]
I guess my advice is to try and figure out how to be okay with them being quiet for a while. They're not going anywhere on their own, but, well, memories are prone to suggestion, right?
[He should know, being a living one. He looks up at the Monolith with its taunting 33; with the shell of his mother curled up in grief at its base, and rolls his shoulders.]
Even when it's as simple as wanting to believe they'll always be right where we need them to be. And especially when we're grieving.
We can only hope, someday, there are loads of old men out exploring the Continent. [ It's a bit of a joke, and she cracks a grin before glancing his way. ] Doubtful they'll all be quite as handsome as you, but...
[ The idea that they might yet be able to experience things like achy knees and gray hair is...oddly uplifting. It's the kinds of experiences she imagines people once took for granted, and which they're now fighting tooth and nail to restore. Strange.
Of course, it wasn't just those things. It would also mean that people like her, and like Sophie, could have the families they wanted without the awful implications of the choice. And...for all of them, it just meant life. A chance to walk the earth for so much longer, to get to know each other and themselves in ways they now had to fit into increasingly short windows.
Sciel is a realist, but also a dreamer. And so she asks: ] Verso...what's it like? All that time, experiencing everything without that number hanging over your head...? [ And because she knows some of that time -- his history -- has been less than pleasant, she adds gently: ] Tell me about...some of the happiest bits. The most surprising, or the wildest.
[ He'd given her good advice, and she commits that to heart. So now, maybe she can help to transform some of the shadows that hang over their new companion, to refocus his immortality within a more positive light. And not in a you should be grateful way -- she isn't that type of person -- but in a way that might genuinely help him.
Why not? He'd saved Maelle, he's the one providing the direction for them to help keep the mission going. If she can do anything to pay him back a bit, then... ]
[Oh. It's been a long time since someone (besides Esquie and Monoco) has called him handsome; Verso lets out a breath of a laugh that does a poor job of hiding how he's momentarily taken aback. At least the night will hide the rest of what his lowered guard would have otherwise revealed, he thinks, as he tries his hand at a casual shrug to make it seem like he's more accustomed to pretty Expeditioners letting him know that they think he's pretty, too.]
It's for the best. My handsomeness is a heavy burden to bear. Wouldn't wanna inflict that on others.
[In his younger years, he probably would have done a better job of holding his own, turning Sciel's charm back on her with practised ease. But the more he thinks on what he did say, the more he hears the stars above groaning at him from afar, and he finds himself uncharacteristically grateful, instead, when she goes back to asking him personal questions. At least they don't leave him scrambling to contend with how his social skills haven't aged nearly as well as the rest of him has.
Happiest bits, though. Surprising he can do, and wild as well. Goodness knows he's had enough extreme encounters with Nevrons that he could speak on them for days. But he's not getting the feeling that she wants to hear stories about him carving his way through the stomach of the serpent, or taking down an Obscur after it lobbed off his dagger arm, or any of the other life-or-death circumstances he's stubborned (and immortaled) his way through.
But, fuck, when has he felt happy?]
Well, there's the first time I flew on Esquie's back. Of course Lumiere had airships, but I'd never been a take-to-the-skies kind of guy, you know? I preferred trains. The way you could feel the ground beneath you as they moved across the Continent. Getting to take it all in instead of passing it by.
[The man is that fucking loyal to his trains. Air travel that's well ahead of anything that existed outside of the Canvas? Gosh, who cares??? Did you see that train?]
He brought me so high up that I could see everything, all at once. It was then that I realised how beautiful the world still was after the Fracture.
[His voice is soft at the end, reflective and positive in ways it rarely gets these days. Back then, he had still believed that Aline could be saved from herself and the Canvas could be protected from Renoir, and the sight had made him more determined to press on. And while that's changed, his thoughts on the beauty of everything haven't. So...]
Maybe I'll be able to take you up there one day. Show you what it's like. Unless there's something else you wanted to see on the Continent...?
girl help, the emotional whiplash between our threads is killing me
[ Something that Verso will learn quickly about Sciel is that she is always unapologetically...well, Sciel. Forthright in gentle ways, honest with almost everything. As if living her life otherwise is simply not an option. It's why she can speak to his attractiveness without batting an eye, and why -- eventually -- she'll suggest they take things further in a similarly straightforward way.
At the moment, she's finding herself more charmed than she'd been expecting. Of course, it'd be natural that someone with Verso's (claimed) lived experience would have a plethora of interesting stories, and he's quickly proving to live up to that. But...in his telling of them, she can sense him opening up a bit, maybe even without realizing it. What she assumes is some degree of a smooth façade, present during some of their other interactions to this point, melts away little by little as he recounts flying over the world on Esquie. As he shares his love for trains, of all things.
Who wouldn't find all this endearing? Sciel turns to face him fully, expression one of genuine fondness, even with their only having just met the man. ]
I'm very jealous. Really, walking doesn't measure up...even when you get to do it out here. [ Her experience is limited to walking...and the occasional boat, which she won't mention.
In fact, it's easy to not think about her hatred for the water, because as he finishes his thought, he looks positively childlike in reliving that joy, and she...leans forward a touch, drawn in. ]
That's beautiful, Verso. [ The earnestness of it should come through in the warmth and richness of her voice. Then he voices the idea of taking her to see it all and she smiles more widely in surprise and delight. It might not -- probably won't -- ever happen, but the offer is...sweet. Like something from a fairy tale. ]
I'd really like that. [ Sciel replies. ] Maybe once we can get Esquie flying again, and when we have a minute to breathe between all the chaos.
[ And if she isn't dead by then, which would be a toss up.
The question elicits a thought hum as she turns back out to look at the world before them, considering. ]
Not specifically, no. [ Lune would want to see everything, but Sciel? ] I'd love to just see some of your favorite places. ...Oh! Unless you happen to know there's snow somewhere...?
[There's always a question in Verso's mind as to whether he's making the right decisions. Even on small scales like this, where he is just a man sitting on the edge of a cliff, having an ordinary conversation with a woman who keeps proving to be extraordinary, he's juggling his lies, his masks, his armour, and his determination to not lose the sense of self he's managed to build over the years, the identity that separates him from the real Verso and makes him a different kind of real, a unique kind of Verso. It's such a core part of him that it probably shouldn't fade into background static when Sciel looks at him with genuine fondness and leans in and says his sentiments are beautiful. It should probably alert him into questioning whether he's getting too attached, too soon.
Instead, he's smiling back. He's fond back. His dumb, sad, lonely heart can't help itself.]
Good. Then it's a – [Don't say date, don't say date, don't trip over your socially clumsy feet, insert your foot in your mouth, and say date.] – plan.
[It's not a plan. Soarrie burns a hole in his pocket and Verso chooses to pretend that he isn't afraid of losing the 33s to homesickness, and that one day, he can show Sciel the world beyond the Nevrons and the corpses, the Monolith and the petals.
The topic of snow keeps him present and bright, too. His soft spot for winter may not be as powerful as the one he holds for trains, but his love for it has remained every bit as constant.]
Oh, there's snow all right. A whole stretch of it, bigger than Lumiere, surrounded by mountains higher than the Crooked Tower. Enough to make you feel small. Good small, not facing off against a giant Nevron small.
[Or maybe that's just him. He likes the thought of disappearing behind curtains of snow, of being surrounded by nothing but pristine nothingness, just another speck fading into the background.]
It's also one of my favourite places. Used to live there with Monoco, way back when, so if there's something in particular drawing you to snow, I'll know just the spot. Just say the word, yeah?
[ Oh, she catches that little hitch, barely-perceptible though it was. Sciel merely continues to smile, though, nodding in affirmation. ]
I'll hold you to that. [ They've got to have some things to look forward to, right? With so much on the line, and...with the risk being about as high as it could possibly be, there have to be some bright spots on the horizon. Beyond just "completing their mission," too, which -- while a worthy goal on its own -- doesn't need to be the end-all-be-all.
Even though it may well be...
When he mentions snow, though, she lights up like a holiday tree. ]
Really? Oh, I can't wait to see it! [ This is a level of enthusiasm that he's perhaps not seen yet as she takes on some of the verve he'd just shown in talking about flying around, and the trains. ] My husband was obsessed with the idea of snow, he was always talking about it... I guess I sort of adopted that from him. [ And she laughs, not embarrassed at all about what some might see as a childish fascination, but instead breathlessly delighted at the possibility. ] Bigger than Lumiére, seriously? I'm...just picturing an endless stretch of white.
[ "Enough to make you feel small." Something about that is...nice. Comforting. Like being a kid again. ]
I love that. [ Sciel impresses, face bright with excitement. ] And I'd love to see it, whenever we can. We'll probably need to pass through there at some point, right?
[ If not, would it be irresponsible to find a way?? ]
so what i'm hearing is that we need more whoo ↜(𓄼 .̀ ̮.́)Ψ
[Now it's Verso's turn to be endeared by Sciel's enthusiasm, how much more she comes to life at the thought. The mention of her husband and the use of was dulls that a tad, though only because of the context it gives to their earlier conversation. Sometimes, she had said, you lose people who are more important; sometimes the loss hits harder.
And sometimes, you carry them with you in realisable dreams of seeing snow for the first time. Verso had always intended to follow through on his word insofar as he'll be able, but now he's more willing to bend truths about detours and campsites to show her more than just the beaten paths ahead.]
Right. You wouldn't have seen it before.
[Technically, he should know that; he didn't spend much time in Lumiere, but he was there long enough for the seasons to pass, and he's sure there was a part of him that grumbled over the absence of winter. Not that it was super common in Old Lumiere, but its proximity to Frozen Hearts and the rest of the mountains meant that sometimes snow powdered the city and gave it an ethereal quality he always loved.]
We'll definitely need to pass through. It'll take a long and perilous journey across the sea and...
[A dramatic pause that he holds for effect.]
... There's no and. Monoco's Station is part of the mountain, so you'll start to see it once we make it through the Forgotten Battlefield just up ahead. We can camp out there for the night, meet some Grandis. The hills in that area are pretty tame, so I could take you guys sledding if you want. You won't believe how the snow sparkles in the moonlight.
[ One of the drawbacks of the Dome -- which keeps them from being slaughtered by Nevrons, so it's a positive invention overall -- is its weather system, or lack thereof. Always the one temperature, denying them the effects of rain and snow. It'd made farming more difficult at first, of course, before they'd fine-tuned the aquafarms concept. And naturally, it meant nobody alive there currently had ever experienced the dreamy dusting of white come wintertime.
She listens, enraptured, as he continues on, looking only briefly arrested at the mention of a long and perilous journey across the sea before relaxing as he changes course. ]
I can't wait. [ Sciel stresses again, positively beaming. ] There've been a lot of beautiful places so far, but this... I'm really looking forward to it.
[ Every location they'd passed through had its own sort of beauty, generally in the fantastical sort of way you might read about in novels. Snow, which is by comparison a much more mundane thing, feels like the most incredible aspect of the Continent yet, as far as she's concerned.
Now they'd just have to survive until then to be able to see it. Easy, right? ]
The Grandis are real, too? [ She exhales, disbelieving, with the childlike expression still firmly in place. ] And..."sledding?"
[ God, the fact that they have to wait before all this-...but, no. It's nice to have something to look forward to (in addition to her promised flight on Esquie's back, that is). It'll be a nice dream for her to carry with her through the difficult fights ahead. ]
We'll have to convince the others to take the time. [ Sciel says, glancing (fondly!) toward Lune and Maelle. ] I think Lune will be easier...
[ There could be some academic merit it. Maelle, though...mired in her need to avenge Gustave...could be more difficult to sway. ]
[That flicker of something dark across Sciel's expression doesn't go unnoticed; Verso manages to school his expression and chase away any lingering curiosity by assuming that the word perilous – a dumb choice in retrospect – is solely responsible. Later, after the truth is revealed, it'll come back to haunt him, but for now there's some solace to find in his ability to believe that he's said worse.
Certainly, he's inspired worse reactions. There's a radiance to Sciel that keeps getting brighter, a kind of curiosity that makes him want to share more, genuinely, like he's a man with nothing to hide and no burdens to impose on others. Of course, it helps that they're talking about mostly neutral things, but then that's part of it, too. He's an immortal man who's survived the Fracture and spent 67 years living on the Continent; he doesn't get to spend much time talking about mundane things like snow and sledding. Hell, he doesn't even get to be the one to reveal that the Grandis are real, either. Most Expeditioners either meet them on their journeys or they don't mention them at all.]
Very real. Great conversationalists, too. As for sledding...
[He raises his arm, bending his wrist and pointing his fingers to the ground. Once he's sure he has Sciel's attention, he swoops his arm down in a quick sledding motion.]
That's where you launch yourself down a hill on a slab of wood or something, whatever you can get your hands on. It's over like that – [A snap of his fingers.] – and you're stuck climbing back up if you want to go again, but it's worth it, trust me. At least for the first few runs.
[The conversation shifts towards something a bit more melancholic when Sciel brings up the others. Verso follows her glance and thinks he understands what she means. They're all still deep in mourning – Sciel included – and of course they're all going to handle what happened earlier and what needs to happen next in different ways. Lune seems to be coping all right – not that he knows her nearly well enough to judge – but Maelle...
Verso frowns. Not the distant frown of a stranger but something deeper, almost familial in its softness. Maelle may not be his Alicia, but he still cares for her as a big brother would, and it hurts to see her struggling so much, especially since he's the cause.]
You take Lune, I take Maelle? I've been meaning to talk to her, anyway. You know, see how she's doing.
[Hopefully without upsetting her like he did last time.]
I'm still kind of surprised to see her out here. [Even knowing what he does.] Can't say I've met an Expeditioner so young. Usually 20's about the lower limit.
[ For all the darkness and violence that comes with the Continent, she's realizing with budding wonder that there is...so much more. Besides the grandiose scenes of untouched fields of flowers or luminous cave systems, the opportunities for life that seem to exist out here is...incredible. This must be what Lune gets so excited about, to some degree, Sciel realizes with a chuckle. Where before she herself had only really given it a passing thought -- in service of the mission and the people around her -- the perspective of someone who's had decades to experience everything the world has to offer is...eye-opening.
Sciel feels strongly, all of a sudden, that she needs to know more. To see more. After all, she's just learned that she may well come across two things that were otherwise akin to fairy tales back home. What else might be out there? ]
I like the sound of that. [ She replies after his 'demonstration' of sledding, cracking another wide smile. ] Is that a game you play in the snow? Or more of a sport?
[ That is: how competitive is sledding, because she is The Gestral Arena Champion, and she's going to try and win at it, if she can.
When the subject settles on the young Expeditioner, Sciel's face softens. She follows his gaze to where the redhead is pouring over Gustave's journal and sighs. ]
It was her choice. Emma and Gustave tried to convince her to stay, that she didn't need to go when she has so many years left. I think Gustave realized sooner than his sister than Maelle had made up her mind. [ There may have been a last-ditch attempt during the farewell party, but she doubts the man had believed it'd work. ] She wanted to leave Lumiére so badly. She said it never felt like her home.
[ If that had ever hurt the people who'd taken her in, they never showed it. Not to Maelle, anyway. ]
You've seen what she can do, though. [ There's a small smile as she turns back to Verso, pride evident in her face. ] Nobody could ever accuse her of being anything less than what she is: a full-fledged, perfectly capable Expeditioner. She's more than earned her place here, and...honestly, I'm not sure we could do it without her.
Both. [He raises his finger as if he's about to make a profound statement. Spoilers: he is not.] It depends on how much of a thrill-seeker you are. If you're serious about it then you'll want to go fast, and the best sledding positions for that, well, they're not for the faint of heart.
[The way she lights up once more has brightened Verso in tandem. Most of the fun he gets out here comes in the form of (questionably) healthy competition with Monoco, and the thought of having someone else to test his mettle against is very appealing. So, he immediately beelines into introducing another one of his loves:]
You ever hear about skiing? Now, that's the real sport.
[Politely, he will refrain from explaining it in case she does know. Being a horrific liar leading people to their deaths is acceptable Verso behaviour. But being that guy? Nuh-uh, no.
The thought does lead him to think about Alicia, though, and how he'd often take her skiing before the Fracture, buying her some time away from the condemnations of her mother and Renoir's enablement of them. Her own prowess in fencing had made her a better-than-average skier, and Verso found himself enjoying watching her tear up the slopes more so than he enjoyed doing the same. Maelle is not Alicia, of course, but he can't help but make that connection all the same.]
Maelle'd like it, I think. I mean, it feels like freedom. For those few moments when you're going down that hill, everything else gets left behind and making it to the end is pure victory.
[That's not all he wants to say about Maelle, though. He has a general sense of the trajectory of her life through the bits and pieces he's witnessed when checking up on her in Lumiere, but he didn't realise that she never felt like she belonged.
At least before Gustave, he supposes.
Once again, Verso finds himself swallowing down the guilt of what he's done. Fuck, he's horrible. But he can't let that show so he continues on.]
It just... It sounds like she could use a win. Or at least a better kind than people usually get out here, because yeah. She is terrifyingly good. Between you and me? I have a feeling she'd beat me blindfolded in a duel.
Lucky I've got a strong heart, then. [ There's an intrigued tilt of the head as she listens, trying to picture their group flying down snow-covered hills on glorified wooden boards. The vision has a lot of yelling and flying face-first into huge piles of snow, so her grin widens and she chuckles.
Yeah...this is something they need to try. She'd find a way to convince the others. ]
Sledding and skiing! You've spend a lot of time in the snow, I see. [ But to his question, she shrugs. ] That's another one I've only seen in books. With the poles, right? So, that's more competitive...?
[ She can only hope and pray that none of these are anything like the "games" that the gestrals had them try on the various beaches across the Continent. Even for Sciel, those had been maddening. ]
It does sound incredible. [ Knowing what little she does of the sport, she indulges in imagining that, too: flying down a hill, gliding as if through the air, feeling the icy wind sting at your face. No thoughts but the next...hill, or curve, or whatever it would be. Surrounded by a world blanketed in white.
In spite of the assumed exhilaration, it also seems as if it'd be...peaceful, somehow. ]
Is that your favorite snowy activity, then? [ Just a guess, based on the way he's been talking about it.
But -- back to Maelle. There's a nonverbal noise of agreement as she glances again to their young friend. ]
I can see it. [ Sciel agrees, nodding. ] Luckily you won't need to see who would come out on top with a duel if you've got all these sword-free challenges lined up.
[ He's very sweet, and there's something especially familial about the way he's seemed to interact with Maelle thus far, but she doesn't doubt he would win out against any of them in a duel. Not knowing the extent of his abilities, but knowing that he's had more time than the three of them combined, well. It's simple math. ]
It doesn't sound like "blindfolded" is the way to go, though, unless you're trying to hit the trees.
[She has a strong heart in more than just the one way, he thinks. Most Expeditioners do to an extent – they'd have to, in order to sign away the last year of their lives – but few have surprised Verso as wholly as Sciel with how they present themselves to a hostile world. And to a complete stranger who by all rights shouldn't exist. Yet right now, he doesn't quiet feel like a stranger. He is existing on a level he hasn't for a while, as close to being the Verso of Lumiere as he can remember. Not that he's thinking these things consciously, of course, but they are driving him all the same.]
I'm not sure I'd say it's more competitive, but there is a lot to keep ahead of, so it's much more gratifying when you win.
[Which really is the sum of Verso's thoughts on sports. The better he can feel about crossing that finish line first, and the more bragging rights he can clam about the artistry of his movements and whatever skills he's had to master, the more he's willing to give them the credit.]
And yeah. Yeah, I'd say so. Used to go all the time before the Fracture. Most of the original slopes are long gone, so I can't take you to see those, but if you want to give skiing a go, there's still a few places around where you can make it down in one piece.
[A pause as he remembers not everyone shares his reckless abandon. Nobody else can, what with their mortality getting in their way to extents he's long stopped having to deal with. So, he's quick to follow up with:]
I promise that's more reassuring than it sounds.
[The rest of what Sciel says has him lightly laughing again, and he waffles on whether to admit that he has, in fact, tried blindfolded skiing. It doesn't exactly feel conducive to the mysterious yet competent wilderness guide role he's taken on, so he chooses to keep it quiet. Besides, he's talked plenty about himself. So:]
Enough about me, though. What's your idea of a good time?
[ There's some idle nodding as she continues to picture it -- picture Verso in particularly, flying down a mountain on both a sled and on skiis. It's easy to imagine him with a thrilled, free sort of expression, and her amused smile is tinted with a fresh fondness. ]
Well, I'm looking forward to learning how to win at both, then. [ Though Sciel would just be happy giving them a try, honestly. Competing in the gestral arena is one thing: this is the chance to do something that not only previously seemed impossible, but which has a more...fantasy-like quality to it because of how much Pierre had talked about the stuff.
Somehow, snow has become more mythical than gestrals. ]
I'd like both, if we ever find ourselves with the time. And the flying Esquie. [ There's a little chuckle at that. ] To see more of the places people went before the Fracture. And of course, to actually get some skiing done.
[ In a way that isn't liable to kill them...
Verso turns the conversation to her and she considers him, head cocked. ]
Mm, I guess I do owe you, since you've been sharing. [ A story for a story, as it were.
If it were later in their journey -- if they'd spent more than almost no time together thus far -- she wouldn't let him get away asking her idea of "a good time" without at least teasing him, and at most...asking after his interest. At the moment, though the wording does give her pause, she isn't quite thinking about that.
...Not yet, anyway. (Though he is undeniably good looking, and clearly charming. Something to consider for later.) ]
Well... I'm a known connoisseur of wine. And by "connoisseur," I mean "enjoyer," though I did try and learn a bit here and there where I could. [ There aren't a lot of people still around who could reliably be called experts, and not enough varietals of wine in the city to warrant calling yourself an expert. ] I like to read, to cook a bit. Being with friends, of course. And, as you know, I've got the cards.
[ At which point, like a magician, she'll produce one out of thin air, holding it between her fingers. ]
...There aren't quite so many adventurous things to do in Lumiére, sadly. But we make do, and make our own fun.
[ ... ]
I don't just spend my time with tarot cards: I love a good game of cards.
[For a moment, Verso feels a burst of the same fear that's inspiring him to keep Soarrie tucked away in his pocket. Just as he worries about them having a change of heart and returning to Lumiere, so too does he become concerned that they might get lost in the fantasies of the Continent and the dreams of a little boy who painted a world of beauty and freedom and love.
Morale is important too, though. None of the Expeditions he's joined up with have endured as much as the 33s have in such a short stretch of time. They made it past their points of landing; they existed as more than a cobbled together crew of survivors that Verso could count on a single hand with a finger to spare. Maybe Sciel and Lune and Maelle have the stubbornness and the gumption and the vengeance to keep themselves moving forwards, but they could just as easily get blinded by their own grief.
After all, Aline was the most stubborn person he'd known, once.
So, he dismisses his doubts with another huff of a laugh. Sciel's interest in the world is a good sign, and he's going to take it as one.]
Just a little bit of everything, huh? You're lucky I know all the good shortcuts.
[There are no promises on the Continent – not for the Expeditioners, anyway – but Verso gets as close as he can to one. His existence has brought nothing but suffering to the people of Lumiere, and now his choices on the Stone Wave Cliffs have had a direct and personal impact on the 33s, and that compels him to try and bring some light to the darkness. They're real people with real souls and they deserve better than to be dragged down by ceaseless gloom, even if sparing them from it is just Verso's version of make-believe.
But he has limits as to what he is and isn't willing to do. When Sciel mentions wine, Verso refuses to confess that Esquie is a walking wine stash. That is his alcohol, and he will hold on as firmly to it as he does to his lies, at least until Esquie screws him over later. For now, though, he listens on. Maybe the bulk of what she lists are ordinary things, but Verso likes that about them. They feel as mythical to him as snow does to her.
The cards, though – those are special. He'll address the ordinary first.]
We'll have to play sometime. Fair warning: I play a mean game of piquet.
[Then he'll lean in a bit, his head titled at a curious angle. Of all the Expeditioners he's worked alongside and those he's only witnessed from afar, he's never seen another use tarot to accentuate their abilities. It's more than a little intriguing, and he can't turn down the opportunity to learn more.]
You know, I've been wondering. What drew you to the cards, anyway?
[ They're lucky to have Verso in general, she thinks, and not for the first time. His initial arrival -- while too late to intervene for Gustave -- had meant Maelle had been saved. It may have meant her and Lune's lives, too, had Renoir given chase, or summoned more nevrons. Beyond that, he's already proven to be an incredibly rich resource of knowledge, both as a former Expeditioner and an immortal who'd spent so long out here. And, without the presence of this helpful stranger, maybe their experience of grieving would have been that much more difficult. He's distracting, which inherently helps, but also seems intent on aiding them in working through it all. ]
You wouldn't be Lumièran if you weren't good at piquet. [ Sciel jokes lightly, bouncing her heels against the rock of the hillside. ] ...But, I'll make sure I take the game very seriously.
[ That, at least, is easy to get into wherever they are in the world. ...If they can find a pack of playing cards, that is.
As he studies her, she produces another card from seemingly out of nowhere: The Fool. ]
I've been interested in the idea ever since I was-...oh, early teens? Read about it in a book and was just... I dunno. The thought that you might be able to get a little extra guidance from someone or something that existed outside of Lumière -- outside the Dome -- really appealed to me. To a girl growing up and watching the Gommage year after year, it...helped things make sense.
[ Her parents didn't have the time for it, but they didn't besmirch it. Certainly not her father, who'd encouraged her to talk to the stars: a habit that isn't too far off in sentiment from tarot. ]
I feel like they're lending me their strength, using them in battle. [ Their being imbued with pictos helps, too.
Sciel glances his way again, tone playful: ] Maybe I'll have to read for you sometime, hmm?
[If they were a little closer, Verso might have made light of how he's not a Lumieran. But there's no way to broach the topic of how his heart is still in Old Lumiere after it was broken by the new one without laying too much of himself bare or putting his well-woven web of lies at risk of being untangled, so he holds up his hands in a gesture of concession instead. Besides, Sciel isn't wrong. The real Verso never played much piquet, so his own experience with it stems from those precious few years during which he was indeed Lumieran.]
Then, we'll have to come up with a good wager. Make it worth all that seriousness.
[It still won't be wine. Right now, he's thinking of mundane things like taking over guard duty or one camp chore or another. More stories, perhaps. Different questions. Maybe there's a residual part of himself at play that remembers how to flirt and mean it, too, but his current mindset is mostly that he's enjoying her company, her spirit, her light.
He thinks hard on how she describes the cards, too. She speaks so freely of using them for guidance and grounding, something she'd picked up as a girl and carries with her to this day, finding a different kind of strength in their presence. It's beautiful.]
I like that. You see the world in a really refreshing way. Just... don't ask me how to describe it, I don't know how to put it to words. Except that you're good company.
[What he doesn't say is how it almost feels like his relationship with music. How he's found his own guidance in the beauty of the notes and how the ways they flow into each other helps him make sense of the world, too. That's still a bit too personal for now. But he doesn't go without mentioning it entirely as his eyes take on a mischievous gleam and he points towards Sciel once more.]
Tell you what. The competition, that'll be lady's choice. As for the wager... I win, you give me a reading. You win, I'll play you a song.
[It's only now that he notices which card Sciel is holding; the art had caught his eye but not the writing. The Fool? He frowns a bit, though it's more contemplative than offended. Goodness knows he has a knack for putting his foot in his mouth, but he hasn't felt like that's happened overly much in this conversation, so he's not sure what there is to take personally about it. After a moment's pause, he adds:]
And your entry free will be telling me why you drew that card.
I'll come up with something worth betting, then. [ She's thinking of similarly mundane tradeoffs for now, more occupied with the genuinely uplifting idea of getting to play a game of cards with him at some point in the future. ] As long as you don't secretly have a set stashed away to get in some practice with Esquie when I'm not looking.
[ It's honestly doubtful that the demigod-like creature would or could play cards, but the idea is funny enough to picture that it's worth the tease. Whether or not Verso is hustling her and she'll end up with her foot in her mouth or she'll surprise him with a thorough thumping remains to be seen.
His assessment of her is...nice. It's straightforward and earnest, which is somehow a little unexpected after her initial impression of how forthright he's seemed (read: not at all). "You're good company," he says, and it softens her smile. ...A smile that spreads at what he says next.
Hmm. There's a lot going on under the surface, she thinks, but it's far from bad. ]
Deal. [ Genuinely, the wager makes her even more excited for their undefined competition than ever, because...well, either way, she feels she wins. It'd be undeniably interesting to read for him, because the participant's questions and responses are usually very telling. And then, of course, getting to hear him play music...will also be revealing, in its own way.
Noting his flicker of confusion at the card, she holds it out to him with an amused glint in her eyes. ]
I'll give you that now, then: a lesson about the cards. Most of them aren't what you think at first glance. [ Same as people, of course. ] One of The Fool's many possible meanings is "new beginnings." It's the first numbered card of the Major Arcana, and -- if pulled upright, as I have -- it represents...unlimited potential. The man seen on the card gazes up at the sky at the start of his journey. Though there are challenges ahead, he's not worried about them...yet, at least. Just fully present in the moment and readying himself to, ah -- get on with the expedition.
[ There's a knowing smile, and then the card is gone. ]
I'll tell you what. I won't practice with Esquie if you don't talk strategy with Lune.
[Maybe that's a bit unfair – Lune would actually be helpful – but it leaves both Maelle and Monoco open as options for both of them. Admittedly, he's curious about how fair Sciel plays, whether she's the type to seek out every advantage of challenge herself by sticking closer to the rules. Part of competing, after all, is understanding one's opponent.
And Verso has been growing more intrigued with Sciel by the moment.
Which he demonstrates by listening – genuinely listening – as she describes the meaning of the cards. He's not sure what he does or doesn't believe when it comes to tarot or divination or the kind of guidance one can only seek from unseeable forces, but he follows along all the same, oblivious to how she's applying its meaning to their circumstances until she mentions the expedition; then, he laughs to chase away the subsequent – and too-frequent – flare of guilt that follows.
Idly, he thinks about something Monoco has told him a few times in the past: that the real Verso valued new beginnings. And he wonders against his better judgment if that's somehow a factor in what Sciel's just said – if the cards can truly see through the paint and the masks and the lies of this world enough to pluck sentiments from his borrowed past.
At least these thoughts don't show, he supposes; the sole perk of having grown so accustomed to pretending he's only ever been the one Verso.]
Huh. You know, I can see it. You've got a good group.
[And he feels good about them. Like they're his one shot. He has to force himself not to look back at Maelle.]
But now you have me curious. What would it have meant if you pulled it the other way?
[Front, back. Recto, verso. He can't help but wonder if what the reverse would have to say.]
That's fair enough. Honestly though, I'm not sure how much Lune's actually played. The fact that you 'play' it is hint enough.
[ It isn't a productive activity, so there's a decent chance she hasn't had the time or inclination to learn it. Guitar may have been the only thing to make it through the purge that had been Lune's life growing up under the strict guidance of her parents.
Sciel realizes she hasn't asked that particular question of her friend, though, and makes a note to do so. ]
We do, don't we? [ Have a good group, that is. (She won't mention Gustave, who was the best of them.) ] And you're here with us, so all the better.
[ Maybe they could make him an armband, so it'd be official.
At the follow-up question, she chuckles. In the blink of an eye, the card is upside-down. ]
The Fool, reversed. In some cases, it could suggest the person has an idea for some new initiative, but they feel the timing's not right to begin, and they're still waiting for their moment. That could be born from a fear of the unknown, as many things are, or because of a perceived lack of control. Were that the case, some readers might advice the person to give it a shot anyway, to trust everything will work out as it should.
[ "As it should" and "as you want" are not the same things, of course. ]
Or...depending on the circumstances, it could be a warning against being reckless. Jumping in with both feet without thinking of the consequences for yourself or others. I'd say looking at the bigger picture before taking plunge is usually wise.
[ Just like that: The Fool is gone completely, and she rests her hands in her lap. ]
This isn't an official reading, remember. Just a general primer so you know the card wasn't a slight.
She's that much of a stickler for focusing on her work, huh?
[It probably shouldn't be surprising, considering what Verso has seen of Lune so far, but it's good to have that bit of confirmation to tuck away into the pockets of his mind for future keeping. The industrious ones are always the most curious; they're usually the ones who are the slowest to trust him, too, which is fair but something he's still not completely confident in contending with. If Lune is indeed that type, then he'll need to be more careful around her.
That's neither here nor there, though; he follows the question with a laugh and pretends to shrug off Sciel's all the better line like it's a modesty thing and not an honesty one.
He's more interested in what she has to say about the card, anyway, still curious as to whether it will have more resonance. It's not a reading, no, but he listens as if it might be one, making an earnest attempt at trying to understand what's drawn her to the cards in the first place. The first half doesn't feel like it suits him on the broad scale of his purpose, but his heart twitches as it bounds ahead of his mind, and his expression softens of its own volition, and he looks towards and then away from Sciel, feeling every part the lonely fool, flipped upside-down and gazing at the starlight reflecting off his boots, convincing himself towards and away from something he isn't sure he should seek: companionship.
The last half, well, that he's heard before. From Aline prior to the Fracture and from Renoir afterward. From Monoco, too, in his attempts to get him to step back and reconsider what he wants. And from Esquie in indirect ways whenever he gets into something particularly questionable.
Combined, the two interpretations of the card do paint a picture, though, and he offers it up to show that he's been paying attention.]
No slight taken. Sounds like the Fool is all of us. You know, we like to think that we know what we're doing, but how often is that actually true? Anyway, the point is, I'd rather accept being the fool than convince myself that I have all the answers.
[Which is a bit hypocritical, but he's speaking in the vague context of his family and all the ways their grief has burdened the Canvas, which blinds him to the self-surety of some of his own convictions. That said, he still isn't here to think about himself, so he takes a moment to study the empty space the Fool once occupied, contemplating whether to keep asking about the cards, which feels safe and easy, or to continue trying to get to know Sciel a little better, which feels like he's treading in unsure territory.
He decides to combine them, the former buoying the latter.]
One last question about the cards, I promise. You have a favourite one?
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tableauvivant) wrote2025-09-17 01:14 pm
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So, he tries to picture what it might be like. Something oddly beautiful, something uniquely ephemeral. A constant absence rather than an unchanging presence. Ordinary. Familiar. Perhaps peaceful. Predictable almost down to the minute, with too-abundant room for closure. Rationally these things are easy enough to imagine, but he can only feel their resonance from a distance. So:]
I never witnessed a Gommage so it's hard for me to relate to what you're used to but... I do remember what it was like learning what death means out here.
[Albeit when the dead were still fewer and more far between; when he still held hope that saving Aline would restore them to life. All he's known for nearly 70 years is the sight of bodies piling up, quantifying the sacrifices made for his survival. For better or for worse, that's kept him from losing perspective, and were it not for those constant reminders, he might be a different person. Again, for better or for worse.
He lifts himself into a more proper sit, bringing one leg to his chest and wrapping an arm around his shin, slightly turning himself towards Sciel. Like this, he feels a little more present even if he also feels a bit scattered.]
It really put things into a perspective I wasn't expecting. It helped to figure out why it bothered me, you know, beyond the obvious. Took a lot of listening to things I didn't really want to hear before I could get back to doing the talking, though.
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[ They'd found a few journals suggesting at least some of those who came before had faded to petals rather than being cut down by Nevrons (or accidentally poisoned by Esquie, etc). How many of those groups had Verso come across in his travels? Surely some, right...?
Her demeanor is still very zen, though, and when he pulls himself into a sitting position, she does the same, her eyes still skyward. ]
That's interesting. [ She murmurs, tracing the path of some of the distant evidence of the Fracture far overhead with her eyes. ] What were some of those things you didn't want to hear?
[ Color her curious. As a sort of peace offering -- to indicate she's not trying to scare him off -- Sciel adds: ] I know what you mean, I think. You can get...stuck, sometimes, because it's impossible to move ahead without accepting the way things are. And...accepting the way things are can be brutal.
[ The sound of water nearby, in this moment, makes her feel a little ill. ]
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[Some have, he knows, from reading the same journals Sciel had. He envies the writers for how they're able to spend their last moments knowing that their trials will soon be over and they won't have to worry about anything anymore, even if those aren't likely to be thoughts they were actually having.]
And those who do, they're usually the ones who've resigned themselves the their fate before it happens. Always figured it was best to leave them be.
[It feels like adding insult to injury, staying with them, hurting with them in ways that feel insulting, given how they crave for the tomorrows he wishes he didn't have to experience.
The next question Sciel asks veers closer to the kind Verso is reluctant to answer, even if he's already broached the topic of his immortality a few times around the 33s. Hell, thanks to Lune's question, he had damned near introduced himself with the fact that he's tired of living forever. That had been a factual answer to an impersonally asked question, though; Sciel is seeking something a little closer to his heart, a little less maskable by flippant statements of the obvious.
He sighs softly, barely perceptible, and continues waging his eternal war between honesty and obfuscation for a moment longer before deciding that he risks giving himself away as a liar if he gets evasive about it now. So:]
The... truths about being immortal. Where I'd gone wrong. The things that are outside of my control. You know, the stuff that leaves you wallowing in existential angst for way longer than you'd like.
[A pause, then he points to Sciel in a gesture of agreement.]
Stuck's a good word for it. You keep forging ahead but there's always gonna be a part of you that gets mired in everything you're leaving behind. So, what's that for you? If you don't mind me asking.
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[ Sciel doesn't say it as if she's surprised that Verso has said something thoughtful -- she doesn't know him well enough one way or the other yet -- but it is a good point. Her own perspective on death and the Gommage is unique, and so assuming that most others might want company during their final moments is-...well, just that: an assumption. It seems just as likely people -- particularly Expeditioners, given their usual nature -- might not want to share the experience with an outsider.
There's an odd pang of sympathy as she regards Verso now. ]
You didn't ask to be this way. [ He knows this, but it might be worth the reminder. ] ...I'm sorry it's been such a burden. But...I hope it's some comfort, knowing you've taken your situation and made the best of it by helping people.
[ Implication: and not killing them, as his commander has been. ]
That's...a bit personal, actually. [ There's no way she's going to get into her tragic backstory right now, no matter what he shares. ] But...well, the gist of it is everyone's story, isn't it? You lose people who're important to you, in our world. Just...some of them hit a bit harder.
[ Husbands, for example. Unborn children. ]
It's like you said, right? All we can do is carry them with us. Move forward... And then, maybe someday, what we're doing out here will mean there's a lot less death to go around.
no subject
So, he keeps it quiet while she moves on to commiserating with him. For a fleeting moment, it feels nice to be understood. When she shifts to him helping people, though, the masks come back on and his posture droops ever slightly beneath their weight.]
Yeah, it's... what keeps me going.
[Ending the cycle, he could say while still being honest, but it feels dishonest for what he's leaving out. Besides, the little he does say tells the whole truth on its own, going even farther into a past where he struggled to come to terms with following Renoir's command, dipping into the moments of depression when he couldn't bring himself to do anything, holding itself up like the lone buoy keeping him afloat.
Sciel's own secrecy isn't surprising, though, and Verso responds to it with a contemplative hum. Under different circumstances he might have played at feeling denied, but the mood still doesn't feel right for that, so he chooses a different course.]
Mm, maybe someday. It'd be nice to not be the only old man walking around out here.
[Aside from Renoir, but whatever. That's not the point!!!
Speaking of points, Sciel asked for advice and Verso feels compelled to try and offer some, even if he's still not sure he has anything of value to contribute. That little bit of self-consciousness has him crossing his arms over his chest, but in a relaxed sort of way.]
I guess my advice is to try and figure out how to be okay with them being quiet for a while. They're not going anywhere on their own, but, well, memories are prone to suggestion, right?
[He should know, being a living one. He looks up at the Monolith with its taunting 33; with the shell of his mother curled up in grief at its base, and rolls his shoulders.]
Even when it's as simple as wanting to believe they'll always be right where we need them to be. And especially when we're grieving.
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[ The idea that they might yet be able to experience things like achy knees and gray hair is...oddly uplifting. It's the kinds of experiences she imagines people once took for granted, and which they're now fighting tooth and nail to restore. Strange.
Of course, it wasn't just those things. It would also mean that people like her, and like Sophie, could have the families they wanted without the awful implications of the choice. And...for all of them, it just meant life. A chance to walk the earth for so much longer, to get to know each other and themselves in ways they now had to fit into increasingly short windows.
Sciel is a realist, but also a dreamer. And so she asks: ] Verso...what's it like? All that time, experiencing everything without that number hanging over your head...? [ And because she knows some of that time -- his history -- has been less than pleasant, she adds gently: ] Tell me about...some of the happiest bits. The most surprising, or the wildest.
[ He'd given her good advice, and she commits that to heart. So now, maybe she can help to transform some of the shadows that hang over their new companion, to refocus his immortality within a more positive light. And not in a you should be grateful way -- she isn't that type of person -- but in a way that might genuinely help him.
Why not? He'd saved Maelle, he's the one providing the direction for them to help keep the mission going. If she can do anything to pay him back a bit, then... ]
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It's for the best. My handsomeness is a heavy burden to bear. Wouldn't wanna inflict that on others.
[In his younger years, he probably would have done a better job of holding his own, turning Sciel's charm back on her with practised ease. But the more he thinks on what he did say, the more he hears the stars above groaning at him from afar, and he finds himself uncharacteristically grateful, instead, when she goes back to asking him personal questions. At least they don't leave him scrambling to contend with how his social skills haven't aged nearly as well as the rest of him has.
Happiest bits, though. Surprising he can do, and wild as well. Goodness knows he's had enough extreme encounters with Nevrons that he could speak on them for days. But he's not getting the feeling that she wants to hear stories about him carving his way through the stomach of the serpent, or taking down an Obscur after it lobbed off his dagger arm, or any of the other life-or-death circumstances he's stubborned (and immortaled) his way through.
But, fuck, when has he felt happy?]
Well, there's the first time I flew on Esquie's back. Of course Lumiere had airships, but I'd never been a take-to-the-skies kind of guy, you know? I preferred trains. The way you could feel the ground beneath you as they moved across the Continent. Getting to take it all in instead of passing it by.
[The man is that fucking loyal to his trains. Air travel that's well ahead of anything that existed outside of the Canvas? Gosh, who cares??? Did you see that train?]
He brought me so high up that I could see everything, all at once. It was then that I realised how beautiful the world still was after the Fracture.
[His voice is soft at the end, reflective and positive in ways it rarely gets these days. Back then, he had still believed that Aline could be saved from herself and the Canvas could be protected from Renoir, and the sight had made him more determined to press on. And while that's changed, his thoughts on the beauty of everything haven't. So...]
Maybe I'll be able to take you up there one day. Show you what it's like. Unless there's something else you wanted to see on the Continent...?
girl help, the emotional whiplash between our threads is killing me
At the moment, she's finding herself more charmed than she'd been expecting. Of course, it'd be natural that someone with Verso's (claimed) lived experience would have a plethora of interesting stories, and he's quickly proving to live up to that. But...in his telling of them, she can sense him opening up a bit, maybe even without realizing it. What she assumes is some degree of a smooth façade, present during some of their other interactions to this point, melts away little by little as he recounts flying over the world on Esquie. As he shares his love for trains, of all things.
Who wouldn't find all this endearing? Sciel turns to face him fully, expression one of genuine fondness, even with their only having just met the man. ]
I'm very jealous. Really, walking doesn't measure up...even when you get to do it out here. [ Her experience is limited to walking...and the occasional boat, which she won't mention.
In fact, it's easy to not think about her hatred for the water, because as he finishes his thought, he looks positively childlike in reliving that joy, and she...leans forward a touch, drawn in. ]
That's beautiful, Verso. [ The earnestness of it should come through in the warmth and richness of her voice. Then he voices the idea of taking her to see it all and she smiles more widely in surprise and delight. It might not -- probably won't -- ever happen, but the offer is...sweet. Like something from a fairy tale. ]
I'd really like that. [ Sciel replies. ] Maybe once we can get Esquie flying again, and when we have a minute to breathe between all the chaos.
[ And if she isn't dead by then, which would be a toss up.
The question elicits a thought hum as she turns back out to look at the world before them, considering. ]
Not specifically, no. [ Lune would want to see everything, but Sciel? ] I'd love to just see some of your favorite places. ...Oh! Unless you happen to know there's snow somewhere...?
the whee balances the whoo sage esquie nod
Instead, he's smiling back. He's fond back. His dumb, sad, lonely heart can't help itself.]
Good. Then it's a – [Don't say date, don't say date, don't trip over your socially clumsy feet, insert your foot in your mouth, and say date.] – plan.
[It's not a plan. Soarrie burns a hole in his pocket and Verso chooses to pretend that he isn't afraid of losing the 33s to homesickness, and that one day, he can show Sciel the world beyond the Nevrons and the corpses, the Monolith and the petals.
The topic of snow keeps him present and bright, too. His soft spot for winter may not be as powerful as the one he holds for trains, but his love for it has remained every bit as constant.]
Oh, there's snow all right. A whole stretch of it, bigger than Lumiere, surrounded by mountains higher than the Crooked Tower. Enough to make you feel small. Good small, not facing off against a giant Nevron small.
[Or maybe that's just him. He likes the thought of disappearing behind curtains of snow, of being surrounded by nothing but pristine nothingness, just another speck fading into the background.]
It's also one of my favourite places. Used to live there with Monoco, way back when, so if there's something in particular drawing you to snow, I'll know just the spot. Just say the word, yeah?
NOT THIS TIME BRO
I'll hold you to that. [ They've got to have some things to look forward to, right? With so much on the line, and...with the risk being about as high as it could possibly be, there have to be some bright spots on the horizon. Beyond just "completing their mission," too, which -- while a worthy goal on its own -- doesn't need to be the end-all-be-all.
Even though it may well be...
When he mentions snow, though, she lights up like a holiday tree. ]
Really? Oh, I can't wait to see it! [ This is a level of enthusiasm that he's perhaps not seen yet as she takes on some of the verve he'd just shown in talking about flying around, and the trains. ] My husband was obsessed with the idea of snow, he was always talking about it... I guess I sort of adopted that from him. [ And she laughs, not embarrassed at all about what some might see as a childish fascination, but instead breathlessly delighted at the possibility. ] Bigger than Lumiére, seriously? I'm...just picturing an endless stretch of white.
[ "Enough to make you feel small." Something about that is...nice. Comforting. Like being a kid again. ]
I love that. [ Sciel impresses, face bright with excitement. ] And I'd love to see it, whenever we can. We'll probably need to pass through there at some point, right?
[ If not, would it be irresponsible to find a way?? ]
so what i'm hearing is that we need more whoo ↜(𓄼 .̀ ̮.́)Ψ
And sometimes, you carry them with you in realisable dreams of seeing snow for the first time. Verso had always intended to follow through on his word insofar as he'll be able, but now he's more willing to bend truths about detours and campsites to show her more than just the beaten paths ahead.]
Right. You wouldn't have seen it before.
[Technically, he should know that; he didn't spend much time in Lumiere, but he was there long enough for the seasons to pass, and he's sure there was a part of him that grumbled over the absence of winter. Not that it was super common in Old Lumiere, but its proximity to Frozen Hearts and the rest of the mountains meant that sometimes snow powdered the city and gave it an ethereal quality he always loved.]
We'll definitely need to pass through. It'll take a long and perilous journey across the sea and...
[A dramatic pause that he holds for effect.]
... There's no and. Monoco's Station is part of the mountain, so you'll start to see it once we make it through the Forgotten Battlefield just up ahead. We can camp out there for the night, meet some Grandis. The hills in that area are pretty tame, so I could take you guys sledding if you want. You won't believe how the snow sparkles in the moonlight.
(◡‿◡)
She listens, enraptured, as he continues on, looking only briefly arrested at the mention of a long and perilous journey across the sea before relaxing as he changes course. ]
I can't wait. [ Sciel stresses again, positively beaming. ] There've been a lot of beautiful places so far, but this... I'm really looking forward to it.
[ Every location they'd passed through had its own sort of beauty, generally in the fantastical sort of way you might read about in novels. Snow, which is by comparison a much more mundane thing, feels like the most incredible aspect of the Continent yet, as far as she's concerned.
Now they'd just have to survive until then to be able to see it. Easy, right? ]
The Grandis are real, too? [ She exhales, disbelieving, with the childlike expression still firmly in place. ] And..."sledding?"
[ God, the fact that they have to wait before all this-...but, no. It's nice to have something to look forward to (in addition to her promised flight on Esquie's back, that is). It'll be a nice dream for her to carry with her through the difficult fights ahead. ]
We'll have to convince the others to take the time. [ Sciel says, glancing (fondly!) toward Lune and Maelle. ] I think Lune will be easier...
[ There could be some academic merit it. Maelle, though...mired in her need to avenge Gustave...could be more difficult to sway. ]
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Certainly, he's inspired worse reactions. There's a radiance to Sciel that keeps getting brighter, a kind of curiosity that makes him want to share more, genuinely, like he's a man with nothing to hide and no burdens to impose on others. Of course, it helps that they're talking about mostly neutral things, but then that's part of it, too. He's an immortal man who's survived the Fracture and spent 67 years living on the Continent; he doesn't get to spend much time talking about mundane things like snow and sledding. Hell, he doesn't even get to be the one to reveal that the Grandis are real, either. Most Expeditioners either meet them on their journeys or they don't mention them at all.]
Very real. Great conversationalists, too. As for sledding...
[He raises his arm, bending his wrist and pointing his fingers to the ground. Once he's sure he has Sciel's attention, he swoops his arm down in a quick sledding motion.]
That's where you launch yourself down a hill on a slab of wood or something, whatever you can get your hands on. It's over like that – [A snap of his fingers.] – and you're stuck climbing back up if you want to go again, but it's worth it, trust me. At least for the first few runs.
[The conversation shifts towards something a bit more melancholic when Sciel brings up the others. Verso follows her glance and thinks he understands what she means. They're all still deep in mourning – Sciel included – and of course they're all going to handle what happened earlier and what needs to happen next in different ways. Lune seems to be coping all right – not that he knows her nearly well enough to judge – but Maelle...
Verso frowns. Not the distant frown of a stranger but something deeper, almost familial in its softness. Maelle may not be his Alicia, but he still cares for her as a big brother would, and it hurts to see her struggling so much, especially since he's the cause.]
You take Lune, I take Maelle? I've been meaning to talk to her, anyway. You know, see how she's doing.
[Hopefully without upsetting her like he did last time.]
I'm still kind of surprised to see her out here. [Even knowing what he does.] Can't say I've met an Expeditioner so young. Usually 20's about the lower limit.
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Sciel feels strongly, all of a sudden, that she needs to know more. To see more. After all, she's just learned that she may well come across two things that were otherwise akin to fairy tales back home. What else might be out there? ]
I like the sound of that. [ She replies after his 'demonstration' of sledding, cracking another wide smile. ] Is that a game you play in the snow? Or more of a sport?
[ That is: how competitive is sledding, because she is The Gestral Arena Champion, and she's going to try and win at it, if she can.
When the subject settles on the young Expeditioner, Sciel's face softens. She follows his gaze to where the redhead is pouring over Gustave's journal and sighs. ]
It was her choice. Emma and Gustave tried to convince her to stay, that she didn't need to go when she has so many years left. I think Gustave realized sooner than his sister than Maelle had made up her mind. [ There may have been a last-ditch attempt during the farewell party, but she doubts the man had believed it'd work. ] She wanted to leave Lumiére so badly. She said it never felt like her home.
[ If that had ever hurt the people who'd taken her in, they never showed it. Not to Maelle, anyway. ]
You've seen what she can do, though. [ There's a small smile as she turns back to Verso, pride evident in her face. ] Nobody could ever accuse her of being anything less than what she is: a full-fledged, perfectly capable Expeditioner. She's more than earned her place here, and...honestly, I'm not sure we could do it without her.
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[The way she lights up once more has brightened Verso in tandem. Most of the fun he gets out here comes in the form of (questionably) healthy competition with Monoco, and the thought of having someone else to test his mettle against is very appealing. So, he immediately beelines into introducing another one of his loves:]
You ever hear about skiing? Now, that's the real sport.
[Politely, he will refrain from explaining it in case she does know. Being a horrific liar leading people to their deaths is acceptable Verso behaviour. But being that guy? Nuh-uh, no.
The thought does lead him to think about Alicia, though, and how he'd often take her skiing before the Fracture, buying her some time away from the condemnations of her mother and Renoir's enablement of them. Her own prowess in fencing had made her a better-than-average skier, and Verso found himself enjoying watching her tear up the slopes more so than he enjoyed doing the same. Maelle is not Alicia, of course, but he can't help but make that connection all the same.]
Maelle'd like it, I think. I mean, it feels like freedom. For those few moments when you're going down that hill, everything else gets left behind and making it to the end is pure victory.
[That's not all he wants to say about Maelle, though. He has a general sense of the trajectory of her life through the bits and pieces he's witnessed when checking up on her in Lumiere, but he didn't realise that she never felt like she belonged.
At least before Gustave, he supposes.
Once again, Verso finds himself swallowing down the guilt of what he's done. Fuck, he's horrible. But he can't let that show so he continues on.]
It just... It sounds like she could use a win. Or at least a better kind than people usually get out here, because yeah. She is terrifyingly good. Between you and me? I have a feeling she'd beat me blindfolded in a duel.
[ominous music plays downpost
He is such a Proud Fake Older Brother though.]
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Yeah...this is something they need to try. She'd find a way to convince the others. ]
Sledding and skiing! You've spend a lot of time in the snow, I see. [ But to his question, she shrugs. ] That's another one I've only seen in books. With the poles, right? So, that's more competitive...?
[ She can only hope and pray that none of these are anything like the "games" that the gestrals had them try on the various beaches across the Continent. Even for Sciel, those had been maddening. ]
It does sound incredible. [ Knowing what little she does of the sport, she indulges in imagining that, too: flying down a hill, gliding as if through the air, feeling the icy wind sting at your face. No thoughts but the next...hill, or curve, or whatever it would be. Surrounded by a world blanketed in white.
In spite of the assumed exhilaration, it also seems as if it'd be...peaceful, somehow. ]
Is that your favorite snowy activity, then? [ Just a guess, based on the way he's been talking about it.
But -- back to Maelle. There's a nonverbal noise of agreement as she glances again to their young friend. ]
I can see it. [ Sciel agrees, nodding. ] Luckily you won't need to see who would come out on top with a duel if you've got all these sword-free challenges lined up.
[ He's very sweet, and there's something especially familial about the way he's seemed to interact with Maelle thus far, but she doesn't doubt he would win out against any of them in a duel. Not knowing the extent of his abilities, but knowing that he's had more time than the three of them combined, well. It's simple math. ]
It doesn't sound like "blindfolded" is the way to go, though, unless you're trying to hit the trees.
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I'm not sure I'd say it's more competitive, but there is a lot to keep ahead of, so it's much more gratifying when you win.
[Which really is the sum of Verso's thoughts on sports. The better he can feel about crossing that finish line first, and the more bragging rights he can clam about the artistry of his movements and whatever skills he's had to master, the more he's willing to give them the credit.]
And yeah. Yeah, I'd say so. Used to go all the time before the Fracture. Most of the original slopes are long gone, so I can't take you to see those, but if you want to give skiing a go, there's still a few places around where you can make it down in one piece.
[A pause as he remembers not everyone shares his reckless abandon. Nobody else can, what with their mortality getting in their way to extents he's long stopped having to deal with. So, he's quick to follow up with:]
I promise that's more reassuring than it sounds.
[The rest of what Sciel says has him lightly laughing again, and he waffles on whether to admit that he has, in fact, tried blindfolded skiing. It doesn't exactly feel conducive to the mysterious yet competent wilderness guide role he's taken on, so he chooses to keep it quiet. Besides, he's talked plenty about himself. So:]
Enough about me, though. What's your idea of a good time?
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Well, I'm looking forward to learning how to win at both, then. [ Though Sciel would just be happy giving them a try, honestly. Competing in the gestral arena is one thing: this is the chance to do something that not only previously seemed impossible, but which has a more...fantasy-like quality to it because of how much Pierre had talked about the stuff.
Somehow, snow has become more mythical than gestrals. ]
I'd like both, if we ever find ourselves with the time. And the flying Esquie. [ There's a little chuckle at that. ] To see more of the places people went before the Fracture. And of course, to actually get some skiing done.
[ In a way that isn't liable to kill them...
Verso turns the conversation to her and she considers him, head cocked. ]
Mm, I guess I do owe you, since you've been sharing. [ A story for a story, as it were.
If it were later in their journey -- if they'd spent more than almost no time together thus far -- she wouldn't let him get away asking her idea of "a good time" without at least teasing him, and at most...asking after his interest. At the moment, though the wording does give her pause, she isn't quite thinking about that.
...Not yet, anyway. (Though he is undeniably good looking, and clearly charming. Something to consider for later.) ]
Well... I'm a known connoisseur of wine. And by "connoisseur," I mean "enjoyer," though I did try and learn a bit here and there where I could. [ There aren't a lot of people still around who could reliably be called experts, and not enough varietals of wine in the city to warrant calling yourself an expert. ] I like to read, to cook a bit. Being with friends, of course. And, as you know, I've got the cards.
[ At which point, like a magician, she'll produce one out of thin air, holding it between her fingers. ]
...There aren't quite so many adventurous things to do in Lumiére, sadly. But we make do, and make our own fun.
[ ... ]
I don't just spend my time with tarot cards: I love a good game of cards.
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Morale is important too, though. None of the Expeditions he's joined up with have endured as much as the 33s have in such a short stretch of time. They made it past their points of landing; they existed as more than a cobbled together crew of survivors that Verso could count on a single hand with a finger to spare. Maybe Sciel and Lune and Maelle have the stubbornness and the gumption and the vengeance to keep themselves moving forwards, but they could just as easily get blinded by their own grief.
After all, Aline was the most stubborn person he'd known, once.
So, he dismisses his doubts with another huff of a laugh. Sciel's interest in the world is a good sign, and he's going to take it as one.]
Just a little bit of everything, huh? You're lucky I know all the good shortcuts.
[There are no promises on the Continent – not for the Expeditioners, anyway – but Verso gets as close as he can to one. His existence has brought nothing but suffering to the people of Lumiere, and now his choices on the Stone Wave Cliffs have had a direct and personal impact on the 33s, and that compels him to try and bring some light to the darkness. They're real people with real souls and they deserve better than to be dragged down by ceaseless gloom, even if sparing them from it is just Verso's version of make-believe.
But he has limits as to what he is and isn't willing to do. When Sciel mentions wine, Verso refuses to confess that Esquie is a walking wine stash. That is his alcohol, and he will hold on as firmly to it as he does to his lies, at least until Esquie screws him over later. For now, though, he listens on. Maybe the bulk of what she lists are ordinary things, but Verso likes that about them. They feel as mythical to him as snow does to her.
The cards, though – those are special. He'll address the ordinary first.]
We'll have to play sometime. Fair warning: I play a mean game of piquet.
[Then he'll lean in a bit, his head titled at a curious angle. Of all the Expeditioners he's worked alongside and those he's only witnessed from afar, he's never seen another use tarot to accentuate their abilities. It's more than a little intriguing, and he can't turn down the opportunity to learn more.]
You know, I've been wondering. What drew you to the cards, anyway?
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You wouldn't be Lumièran if you weren't good at piquet. [ Sciel jokes lightly, bouncing her heels against the rock of the hillside. ] ...But, I'll make sure I take the game very seriously.
[ That, at least, is easy to get into wherever they are in the world. ...If they can find a pack of playing cards, that is.
As he studies her, she produces another card from seemingly out of nowhere: The Fool. ]
I've been interested in the idea ever since I was-...oh, early teens? Read about it in a book and was just... I dunno. The thought that you might be able to get a little extra guidance from someone or something that existed outside of Lumière -- outside the Dome -- really appealed to me. To a girl growing up and watching the Gommage year after year, it...helped things make sense.
[ Her parents didn't have the time for it, but they didn't besmirch it. Certainly not her father, who'd encouraged her to talk to the stars: a habit that isn't too far off in sentiment from tarot. ]
I feel like they're lending me their strength, using them in battle. [ Their being imbued with pictos helps, too.
Sciel glances his way again, tone playful: ] Maybe I'll have to read for you sometime, hmm?
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Then, we'll have to come up with a good wager. Make it worth all that seriousness.
[It still won't be wine. Right now, he's thinking of mundane things like taking over guard duty or one camp chore or another. More stories, perhaps. Different questions. Maybe there's a residual part of himself at play that remembers how to flirt and mean it, too, but his current mindset is mostly that he's enjoying her company, her spirit, her light.
He thinks hard on how she describes the cards, too. She speaks so freely of using them for guidance and grounding, something she'd picked up as a girl and carries with her to this day, finding a different kind of strength in their presence. It's beautiful.]
I like that. You see the world in a really refreshing way. Just... don't ask me how to describe it, I don't know how to put it to words. Except that you're good company.
[What he doesn't say is how it almost feels like his relationship with music. How he's found his own guidance in the beauty of the notes and how the ways they flow into each other helps him make sense of the world, too. That's still a bit too personal for now. But he doesn't go without mentioning it entirely as his eyes take on a mischievous gleam and he points towards Sciel once more.]
Tell you what. The competition, that'll be lady's choice. As for the wager... I win, you give me a reading. You win, I'll play you a song.
[It's only now that he notices which card Sciel is holding; the art had caught his eye but not the writing. The Fool? He frowns a bit, though it's more contemplative than offended. Goodness knows he has a knack for putting his foot in his mouth, but he hasn't felt like that's happened overly much in this conversation, so he's not sure what there is to take personally about it. After a moment's pause, he adds:]
And your entry free will be telling me why you drew that card.
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[ It's honestly doubtful that the demigod-like creature would or could play cards, but the idea is funny enough to picture that it's worth the tease. Whether or not Verso is hustling her and she'll end up with her foot in her mouth or she'll surprise him with a thorough thumping remains to be seen.
His assessment of her is...nice. It's straightforward and earnest, which is somehow a little unexpected after her initial impression of how forthright he's seemed (read: not at all). "You're good company," he says, and it softens her smile. ...A smile that spreads at what he says next.
Hmm. There's a lot going on under the surface, she thinks, but it's far from bad. ]
Deal. [ Genuinely, the wager makes her even more excited for their undefined competition than ever, because...well, either way, she feels she wins. It'd be undeniably interesting to read for him, because the participant's questions and responses are usually very telling. And then, of course, getting to hear him play music...will also be revealing, in its own way.
Noting his flicker of confusion at the card, she holds it out to him with an amused glint in her eyes. ]
I'll give you that now, then: a lesson about the cards. Most of them aren't what you think at first glance. [ Same as people, of course. ] One of The Fool's many possible meanings is "new beginnings." It's the first numbered card of the Major Arcana, and -- if pulled upright, as I have -- it represents...unlimited potential. The man seen on the card gazes up at the sky at the start of his journey. Though there are challenges ahead, he's not worried about them...yet, at least. Just fully present in the moment and readying himself to, ah -- get on with the expedition.
[ There's a knowing smile, and then the card is gone. ]
Very appropriate, don't you think?
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[Maybe that's a bit unfair – Lune would actually be helpful – but it leaves both Maelle and Monoco open as options for both of them. Admittedly, he's curious about how fair Sciel plays, whether she's the type to seek out every advantage of challenge herself by sticking closer to the rules. Part of competing, after all, is understanding one's opponent.
And Verso has been growing more intrigued with Sciel by the moment.
Which he demonstrates by listening – genuinely listening – as she describes the meaning of the cards. He's not sure what he does or doesn't believe when it comes to tarot or divination or the kind of guidance one can only seek from unseeable forces, but he follows along all the same, oblivious to how she's applying its meaning to their circumstances until she mentions the expedition; then, he laughs to chase away the subsequent – and too-frequent – flare of guilt that follows.
Idly, he thinks about something Monoco has told him a few times in the past: that the real Verso valued new beginnings. And he wonders against his better judgment if that's somehow a factor in what Sciel's just said – if the cards can truly see through the paint and the masks and the lies of this world enough to pluck sentiments from his borrowed past.
At least these thoughts don't show, he supposes; the sole perk of having grown so accustomed to pretending he's only ever been the one Verso.]
Huh. You know, I can see it. You've got a good group.
[And he feels good about them. Like they're his one shot. He has to force himself not to look back at Maelle.]
But now you have me curious. What would it have meant if you pulled it the other way?
[Front, back. Recto, verso. He can't help but wonder if what the reverse would have to say.]
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[ It isn't a productive activity, so there's a decent chance she hasn't had the time or inclination to learn it. Guitar may have been the only thing to make it through the purge that had been Lune's life growing up under the strict guidance of her parents.
Sciel realizes she hasn't asked that particular question of her friend, though, and makes a note to do so. ]
We do, don't we? [ Have a good group, that is. (She won't mention Gustave, who was the best of them.) ] And you're here with us, so all the better.
[ Maybe they could make him an armband, so it'd be official.
At the follow-up question, she chuckles. In the blink of an eye, the card is upside-down. ]
The Fool, reversed. In some cases, it could suggest the person has an idea for some new initiative, but they feel the timing's not right to begin, and they're still waiting for their moment. That could be born from a fear of the unknown, as many things are, or because of a perceived lack of control. Were that the case, some readers might advice the person to give it a shot anyway, to trust everything will work out as it should.
[ "As it should" and "as you want" are not the same things, of course. ]
Or...depending on the circumstances, it could be a warning against being reckless. Jumping in with both feet without thinking of the consequences for yourself or others. I'd say looking at the bigger picture before taking plunge is usually wise.
[ Just like that: The Fool is gone completely, and she rests her hands in her lap. ]
This isn't an official reading, remember. Just a general primer so you know the card wasn't a slight.
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[It probably shouldn't be surprising, considering what Verso has seen of Lune so far, but it's good to have that bit of confirmation to tuck away into the pockets of his mind for future keeping. The industrious ones are always the most curious; they're usually the ones who are the slowest to trust him, too, which is fair but something he's still not completely confident in contending with. If Lune is indeed that type, then he'll need to be more careful around her.
That's neither here nor there, though; he follows the question with a laugh and pretends to shrug off Sciel's all the better line like it's a modesty thing and not an honesty one.
He's more interested in what she has to say about the card, anyway, still curious as to whether it will have more resonance. It's not a reading, no, but he listens as if it might be one, making an earnest attempt at trying to understand what's drawn her to the cards in the first place. The first half doesn't feel like it suits him on the broad scale of his purpose, but his heart twitches as it bounds ahead of his mind, and his expression softens of its own volition, and he looks towards and then away from Sciel, feeling every part the lonely fool, flipped upside-down and gazing at the starlight reflecting off his boots, convincing himself towards and away from something he isn't sure he should seek: companionship.
The last half, well, that he's heard before. From Aline prior to the Fracture and from Renoir afterward. From Monoco, too, in his attempts to get him to step back and reconsider what he wants. And from Esquie in indirect ways whenever he gets into something particularly questionable.
Combined, the two interpretations of the card do paint a picture, though, and he offers it up to show that he's been paying attention.]
No slight taken. Sounds like the Fool is all of us. You know, we like to think that we know what we're doing, but how often is that actually true? Anyway, the point is, I'd rather accept being the fool than convince myself that I have all the answers.
[Which is a bit hypocritical, but he's speaking in the vague context of his family and all the ways their grief has burdened the Canvas, which blinds him to the self-surety of some of his own convictions. That said, he still isn't here to think about himself, so he takes a moment to study the empty space the Fool once occupied, contemplating whether to keep asking about the cards, which feels safe and easy, or to continue trying to get to know Sciel a little better, which feels like he's treading in unsure territory.
He decides to combine them, the former buoying the latter.]
One last question about the cards, I promise. You have a favourite one?
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verso's a semisonic fan huh
okay but like secret smile does kinda have versciel vibes